Illustration by Russ Tudor
Help! I’ve Been Invited to My First Hollywood New Year’s Eve Party!
Dear Remy,
I’m new to LA, and this will be my first New Year’s Eve in the City of Angels.
I moved here earlier this year after a pilot I wrote was picked up for a full series. It’s been life-changing—financially, professionally, and socially. Before this, I lived in a small town outside Philadelphia, where “Craft Services” would be mistaken for an Etsy booth.
Now, I’ve been invited to a New Year’s party hosted by people I know through work, and I have no idea how to act. I’ve always found New Year’s stressful—it’s all about that one big moment at midnight, and we just hang out until then.
But my biggest question is: Am I supposed to hug everyone at midnight? I’m awkward at the best of times—once I told the mailman I loved him when he delivered my Settlers of Catan expansion pack, and I cringed for weeks.
How many canapés is too many? Do I bring a gift? How do I start a conversation with people I don’t know? And do I have to come up with a clever quip when introducing myself, or is that just something that happens in movies?
Yours,
LA Intentional
Dear LA Intentional,
Are you sure you’re the only one overthinking this? Because I guarantee you, every other guest is also navigating their own awkwardness—it’s just masked by sequins and champagne.
First, let’s demystify the midnight hug: It’s optional. If you’re comfortable, follow the vibe. If not, a warm “Happy New Year” and a smile will do.
As for the rest: Bring a bottle of wine or a small gift for the host—never a bad move. Don’t worry about canapés; eat enough to keep your energy up but leave room for conversation. And when it comes to introductions, skip the pressure to be clever. A simple, “Hi, I’m new to LA—what brought you here?” works every time.
The real question is this: What story are you telling yourself about this party? That everyone else has mastered the social code and you’re the odd one out? Remember, authenticity always wins. Be curious, kind, and present, and you’ll fit in just fine—even if you don’t hug anyone at all.
Best wishes,
Rémy
Uh Oh. My Wife Wants Us to Be a Hollywood Power Couple
Dear Remy,
As the year draws to a close, I’m counting my achievements—both big and small. A series I play the supporting lead on was recommissioned, I passed a level in my Japanese classes, and I managed to keep most of my plants alive (except one ficus, who was struggling from the start).
But my wife sees this year as a disaster—all because we didn’t make it onto any Power Couples of 2024 lists. She’s an actor too, and for her, those lists are the ultimate validation—where success in both personal and professional life comes together.
I thought she’d let it go, but it turns out this is her biggest dream. She’s booked us a stylist in January to perfect our red carpet “his and hers” looks, and last week I overheard her telling a PR rep, “I want to make the Harper’s Bazaar list, but Cosmopolitan will do.”
At this point, I feel less like a husband and more like a prop in her Hollywood strategy. To make matters worse, when I tried to combine our names into a portmanteau, it turned out to be the name of a popular sex toy. We don’t even have that in our favor.
Yours,
Powered Down
Dear Powered Down,
What does this list really mean to your wife? Is it about status, security, or something deeper? Very often, when love or acceptance in childhood was tied to achievements—a school report, a trophy, or a glowing review—it creates a belief that external validation equals safety and self-worth.
But where does that leave you? You say you feel like a prop, which suggests her dream isn’t aligned with your values as a couple. Can you ask her: “What do you feel we’re missing that being a ‘power couple’ would give us?” It’s a way to start a deeper conversation about what drives her ambition—and how it affects your connection.
It’s worth sharing your own vision of success in your relationship. Does power for you mean laughter, mutual support, or simply being present for each other? True “power couples” aren’t forged on red carpets; they’re built in the quiet, meaningful moments at home.
Warmly,
Rémy
Enough Is Enough. I Need a Rest
Dear Remy,
I’m a studio executive, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point.
This year has been relentless, with long hours on set, grueling deadlines, and the constant pressure to keep up appearances in LA. Now, with New Year’s approaching, I’m thinking about making no resolutions at all—for the first time in my life.
It’s really calling to me to start doing less. Less exercise, less dieting, less perfectionism at home. I want to fire my personal trainer and swap endless burpees for Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. I dream of spending mornings on my chaise longue, eating Cheetos.
But I’m worried. Can I really turn up on set and admit I didn’t wake up at 5 a.m. to hike and journal? Will people think I’m lazy? Is this industry even compatible with a slower, easier pace of life?
Yours,
More Tired, Less Wired
Dear More Tired, Less Wired,
Who told you that the only way to succeed in this industry was to climb Runyon Canyon at dawn while sipping a homemade matcha latte? Whose version of “making it” have you been following—and, more importantly, why does it no longer feel like yours?
It sounds like your body—and maybe your mind—are sending you a very clear message: stop. Not forever, but for now. Can you give yourself permission to redefine success, not as doing more, but as honoring what you truly need?
What if you reframed the question? Instead of worrying about whether it’s socially acceptable to slow down, ask yourself: What kind of leader, creative, or human do I want to be? Does waking up 30 minutes before call time make you less effective, less thoughtful, or less talented on set? Or are you at your best when you feel rested, joyful, and occasionally covered in Cheetos dust?
Maybe this New Year, the resolution isn’t about doing less or more—it’s about doing what truly works for you. Could that be the real way forward?
With curiosity,
Rémy
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Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founder of Vitality Guru, which offers business and career coaching to high performers in media. Send queries to: guru@vitality.guru.
Questions edited by Sarah Mills.